'Mommy Effect' Explained: Why Kids Act Up More Around Mom? Strategies to Alleviate Mommy Anxieties

Introduction

We've all experienced this - the moment you enter the room, and your child's behavior suddenly worsens . You start to wonder if they got a secret memo on how to manipulate mom as they become more demanding, temperamental, and difficult. A recent research by Dr. KP. Leibowitz at the Department of Psychology at the University of Washington sheds light on this phenomenon and offers insights into why kids might act differently around their mothers compared to others, and more importantly, how mothers can overcome this challenge.

The 'Mommy Effect' Explained

The well publicized research by Dr. Leibowitz investigated why children's conduct seems to deteriorate while they are with their moms as opposed to relationships with other individuals, such as dads. According to the results, the following elements may be involved in this phenomenon:

• 1. Comfort Zone: Mothers are frequently seen as children's main sources of security and comfort. When their mother is there, they can feel more comfortable expressing their feelings, such as dissatisfaction and annoyance.

• 2. Boundaries and Testing: Moms frequently establish boundaries, which kids frequently test. Children may be more inclined to obey the rules when they are with other people, especially those they don't see as often.

• 3. Emotional Release: Kids may utilize their time with Mom as an opportunity to let go of the tension and feelings they've been holding in all day. This can manifest as challenging behavior.

• 4. Unconditional Affection: Children are aware of their moms' unwavering affection for them. Because kids know they won't risk their mother's love and approval, they can feel more comfortable expressing their unpleasant feelings.

How to deal with the 'Mommy Effect'

Although it's common for kids to act out more when they're around their moms, there are ways to control this behavior and improve interactions:

• 1. Consistency: Maintain rules and limits consistently, whether or not you are the primary caregiver. Knowing what is expected of them might help lessen problematic behavior since children do so with consistency.

• 2. Communicate Openly: Encourage your children to talk to you in a direct manner. Let them voice their emotions and disappointments in a constructive manner, and pay attention to what they have to say.

• 3. Quality Time: Engage in activities you both like while spending quality time with your child one-on-one. This strengthens the relationship and may lessen the need for undesirable attention-seeking behaviors.

• 4. Teach Emotional Regulation: Assist your kid in recognizing and controlling their emotions. Teaching kids constructive strategies to deal with stress and frustration may result in more positive reactions.

• 5. Share Responsibilities: If at all feasible, involve other caregivers in establishing limits and enforcing regulations, such as dads or grandparents. The "disciplinary load" may be distributed thanks to this joint accountability, which can also improve the environment's balance.

How to Reduce Mommy Stress

The 'Mommy Effect' can be difficult to manage and even anxiety-provoking. Here are some methods to reduce your worries:

• 1. Self-Compassion: Keep in mind that parenting is difficult for everyone. Recognize your efforts and treat yourself with kindness.

• 2. Seek Support: Don't be afraid to ask friends, family, or support groups for help. Feelings of loneliness can be reduced by exchanging knowledge and suggestions.

• 3. Take rests: If you're feeling overwhelmed, it's acceptable to take a little break. You can restore your composure by taking a few moments to care for yourself.

• 4. Self-Care: Give self-care first priority to lessen stress and anxiety. Take part in rejuvenating activities, such as reading, jogging, or spending time in nature.

Conclusion

The 'Mommy Effect' is a well-known phenomena in child psychology, to sum up. Understanding the reasons behind it can help parents navigate these challenging moments with patience and empathy. By relying on open communication, maintaining consistency, and seeking help when needed, mothers can create a positive and flourishing environment for their kids. Additionally, practicing self-compassion and self-care is vital for handling the anxieties and stress that can arise from dealing with challenging behavior. Remember, you're not alone, and every parent faces their unique set of challenges on this rewarding journey!